Review: Quiet! The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

I've always been an introvert.  I don't think I've ever tried to hide it, but it used to be something I struggled against.  I'm prone to purposefully spending weekends by myself at home because I find it infinitely more relaxing than going out to bars or parties or being overly social.  At some point I've learned to embrace my introversion, but also try to balance my life with some socialization since whether we're introverts or extroverts, humans are built to have relationships with other humans.  It wasn't until I read this book that I realized just many of my personality traits are tied to my introversion besides my aversion to large groups, loud noises, and small talk.

Susan Cain does a wonderful job of balancing anecdotal explanations and scientific studies to go into great detail about what it means to be an introvert, why it's awesome, the pros and cons between introversion and extroversion, and how to best structure your life to function best as an introvert.  For example, a developmental psychologist named Jerome Kagan did a long term study on a group of infants where they introduced the kids to a whole bunch of different stimuli and predicted which ones would be introverts and which would be extroverts.  He predicted that the kids who pumped their arms and legs in response to the new things were introverts and the ones who sat there unresponsive were the extroverts.  It turns out that introverts have amygdalas that react stronger to new and unknown situations.  As a kid, the response to this is to react to it.  As we grow older we tend to internalize those responses, but we feel much more aversion to new things then extroverts.

This explains why I've always been hesitant to try new foods, go new places by myself, interact with strangers, and so on.  I can get over these things, but I have a built in wall of aversion that I have to punch through first.  If I'm pressured to bust through this wall at a faster pace than I'm okay with, my reaction is to push back even stronger and refuse to do whatever it is.  This might be a separate trait from introversion, since this particular response never came up in this book.  I also am very opposed when someone tries to pressure someone else into doing something they don't want for a similar reason.  This empathy is a trait of introversion, since we generally pick up on other peoples' emotions and also apparently feel guilty really easily (which explains why I apologize much more often than I probably should).  But getting back to the book, if you think you're an introvert or know one and want to know how best to interact with them, I'd highly recommend this book.

Suspicion Print To Play Update

It's been a month since PAX where I decided to make a print and play version of my game, Suspicion.  I haven't been idle in that time, but I haven't had as much free time as I have wanted.  I've gotten a very preliminary print and play version of my game and sent to a friend to give a once over and I've already gotten more work I need to do on that (add some pictures to the rule book for clarity and tweak the print pages so they are easy to print in either double-sided or normal printers) and then I will pots it here for the world to try.  In the meantime, I give you Murray because he's awesome:

Leadership

Ever since moving to Monterey, I've been trying to get more and more connected to a church.  This is especially true after Pastor Bryan spoke on faithless action and faithless inaction.  Faithless action is when you strive so hard for something you want without putting God in the equation until at some point, that thing you are striving for becomes your god.  Faithless inaction is when you rely so much on God's promise to bless you that you do nothing, but wait.  God doesn't reward laziness.

After hearing that sermon, I finally got off my butt and got the courage to join a dGroup (Monterey Church's small group).  Then the following Sunday after going to church, I was invited to Easter dinner by the leader of my small group and met more people.  So I could immediately see God's blessing with just one tiny bit of action.  But still I was afraid to do much more for awhile.  There's been a constant call to help with children's church and setup/teardown of the theater we meet in before and after church, but week after week I would dash out of church passing those sign up sheets by.

Over a month later I wrote this and realized I was doing the same thing as before.  Letting my excuses control me.  So the next Sunday service I signed up to help setup since I figured I'm always up early anyway, I might as well do something good with that time before church.  So I sign up and then the following Saturday, I get an e-mail telling me what time I need to be at church for this.  Turns out my early (around 7:30) wasn't as early enough since I needed to be at church at 6 am.  I had also promised my housemate, Mike, that I would pick him up from Monterey airport at 11 pm the night before I had to be at church at 6 am.  So this was ample opportunity for me to come up with excuses that were actually somewhat legitimate.  But I remembered what I had resolved to do about excuses and did both like I said I would.  It was difficult, but it was worth it.

So I figured now I'm connected enough.  I'm doing some nice behind the scenes work for the church and I've got my small group and I've been going to church consistently.  Well I guess God's not done with me yet.  After small group this week, one of the other members suggested I become a small group leader myself.  Immediately I felt scared and I could feel the excuses coming up.  I've never really liked being a leader, I prefer the behind the scenes stuff.  I have concerns for meeting at my house since I have three housemates and I don't want to kick them out of the main room.  Etc.  Etc.  Blah.  Blah.  Blah.  After more discussion, our current dGroup leader, Pam, said she might be leaving for good soon.  She's still not sure, but if she did she wouldn't want the group to just fall apart.  So I'm pretty much getting all the signs that I should be doing this (I don't want to, but I feel I should; there seems to be a need; I seem well equipped to fulfill that need).  As a first step I'm going to teach a lesson (I guess next week?) at dGroup.  We'll see how God guides me after that, but I'm pretty sure I've finally gotten the hint.

The most comforting thing for me is Pastor Bryan has said on a few occasions that he also never wanted to be a pastor.  He too wanted to be a behind the scenes guy.  But he felt God calling him to being the pastor and I'm glad God did because Pastor Bryan was one of the biggest reasons I kept going to this church.