- Splitting up is certain death.
- Hooking up with the hot chick before the killer is dealt with is certain death.
- Walking up to inspect a body lying on the ground is certain death.
- Thinking it's over is certain death.
- If you're a jerk, you're going to die a horrible death.
- If you're a jerk, but redeem yourself at some point, you'll die, but it won't be as painful.
- Only the nice guys and hot girls survive.
- If you see/hear something suspicious, don't investigate. Really just a more general version of the "dead" body rule.
Action hero movies:
- If you haven't killed your nemesis yet, then the moment you're happy and think everything's going your way is the moment right before true tragedy strikes.
- Everything blows up. Use that to your advantage.
- No matter how much you get shot at, the worst that'll happen is your leg will get shot.
- You'll never have to feel guilty for killing the hundreds of guards just doing their jobs. Don't worry.
- Don't make friends with anyone because they'll either betray you or get killed right before your eyes. (See the first rule of action hero movies)
Romantic comedy movies:
- If you're in a relationship at the beginning of the movie, expect it to fail very shortly.
- No matter how many embarassing situations arise that would make a girl in real life lose all interest in you, she'll still be interested in you.
Any movie with a computer:
- You never have to worry about learning Unix or DOS commands because every system has a convenient GUI to use when you've hacked into their system.
- Hacking is a simple process of hitting random keys very rapidly until you say "I'm in!"
- Viruses always have some visual effect to your computer like a silly animation mocking you or graphical corruptions on the screen.
- All computer programmers are geniuses can make any program for any purpose. This one's actually true.