Monday, August 20, 2012

Corgi-Assisted Workouts

Corgi trainer and headband sold separately
In an effort to maximize time efficiency and minimize boredom while working out, I offer you the following Corgi-Assisted Workout program.  With the aid of your Corgi trainer, follow these three simple steps for a healthier you!

Step 1: Welsh Whirl

Find a relatively large running area (around 30 ft or so).  Grab one of your Corgi trainer's favorite pieces of equipment, run forward with the equipment held high in your hand for of your running area.  Throw the equipment as far forward as you can.  As your Corgi trainer goes to retrieve his equipment, run back as fast as you can to the starting area.  Make sure your Corgi trainer sees you running so that he realizes you're still interested in exercising.  Repeat this until your trainer stops for a drink of water or their tongue is roughly the size of their head when panting, then proceed to step 2.

The Welsh Whirl is not only good for the cardiovascular health of you and your Corgi Trainer, but it can be good practice for you dexterity and eye sight if you aim the equipment to hit a specific location each time.  Some additions you can add to this step to burn more calories:

High-Stepping

To get even more leg muscles working during the return sprint, lift your legs super high on each step.  If this starts to tire out your legs, you're doing it right!

Arm Flailing

To get your arms involved on the sprint back, try flailing your arms around wildly like a Muppet or an orangutan.  This will make you look utterly ridiculous, so you may want to reserve this part of the workout to when you are alone and can shut the drapes/blinds...

Step 2: Corgi Crunches

While your Corgi trainer is resting from the Welsh Whirl, get on your back and start doing some crunches.  You can either do as many as you're able or pick a set number to shoot for for multiple sets.  While you are performing these crunches, your Corgi trainer may push you harder by either stepping on your stomach to force you to tense your muscles even more or he may stand under your back when you are sitting up, forcing you to hold the position until he deems you ready to lie back down.  Once you are done with these, proceed to step 3 of the exercise program.

Step 3: Pembroke Push-Ups

Flip over on to your stomach and proceed to do push ups.  Just like with the Corgi Crunches, do as many of these as you feel like.  Your Corgi trainer will let you know when you're not working hard enough by stepping on your back or standing under you when you're in the up position.  Don't challenge your trainer if he decides to do this, just push through the pain and remind yourself that your Corgi trainer believes in you, so you should too!  After you are done with this step, your Corgi will let you know if you need to repeat all three steps or not by bringing his equipment back to you to start Step 1 again.

Corgi Trainer Care

In order to keep your Corgi trainer at peak condition so that he can help you be at your best, he will require room and board as well as an occasional ride to his specialists that keep his health, teeth, and toenails in the proper condition.

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